Shania Drain

Shania Drain, through the courtesy of Johnny Crap, the toilet brush in black, rose to fame with the hit song, Burning Ring of Fire. Rumor has it during their Wild West Tour, the bus driver made a wrong turn at Albuquerque, winding up at a taco stand that claim to have to world's spiciest burritos. Shania was up to the taco stand's challenge, only to realize hours later the real burning had only just begun.

Later that night she didn't think she was going to be able to perform. A backstage-hand, hearing of her dilemma, gave her a slip of paper containing a family secret to "the burning ring of fire"**. Thanks to the saving grace of the secret family recipe and a large block of Velveeta Cheese, the show did go on!!!!

Laughing 'til his sides were about to spilt, Johnny Crap came up with the song "Burning Ring of Fire" and gave it to Shania for all the fun he had that fateful night.

*This song was performed at The Detour in Lexington, KY on 01/08/02, during The Electric Toilet Brush Experience's A Western-Style David Bowie Birthday Bash (pictured above). Sometime in the future we'll have videos of this and other performances!

**The Secret Family Recipe to "The Burning Ring of Fire"**
If you eat a lot of chili-rich food - say, a Chicken Vindaloo for dinner every night for a month like I once foolishly had - you may be familiar with the "Ring of Fire" - that irritating early-morning problem that really requires you to have put some toilet-tissue in the freezer the night before...

Well, here's a proposed solution - it's really a new use for an old product rather than a new product per se.

Anyway, as you may know, the "heat" in chili-based food comes from a chemical compound called capsaicin. Capsaicin is not soluble in water, so when your mouth is burning a glass of water or even a cold, tasty beer brings no respite.

Now, casein - an enzyme found in milk products - disrupts the weak bonds between capsaicin and the mouth's pain receptors - so a nice glass or milk - or Lassi for you curry fans - is just the ticket for quenching a fiery mouth.

But what about the other end? Obviously for the same reason that a glass of water fails to help, those moistened or "medicinal" toilet tissues won't do the trick. So it has to be something milk based, preferably in a handy toilet-tissue sized format.

Well....it *could* work. You could also try a cream-cheese enema, but I don't think the general public is ready for that sort of thing just yet...