Jackschitt

Many people are at a loss for a words when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!". Well, good thing you came along this here site, read on and you will know the real tale*.

    Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, a fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt, Inc.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt; the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; Fulla Schitt; Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous married name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Crap and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in dual ceremony.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world, and returned with his new bride, Mrs. Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can say, "Indeed, I do!".