aregularpoopouri

Chef Poo's Recipe Corner

Come join Chef Poo and his friends from The Electric Toilet Brush Experience in some delightfully different delicacies disgusting to dignitaries but delectable to deviants, et al.

Wolfman Al's Creepy Witches Fingers (November 2001)

Ms. Urethra Franklin's #1 Tasty Lemonade (June 2001)

Super Toilet Brush's Boogers on a Stick (February 2001)

Mr. Poo's Kitty Litter Cake (January 2001)

Mr. Poo's Worms and Dirt (December 2000)

Wolfman Al's

Creepy Witches Fingers

1 cup butter, softened
1 cup icing sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 2/3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup almonds, whole blanched
1 tube red decorator gel
Green Food Coloring
1 package Oreos
2 bags uncooked white rice
Container to display fingers

Yield: 5 dozen

Directions:
In bowl, beat together butter, sugar, egg, almond extract and vanilla. Beat in flour, baking soda, and salt. Add green food coloring until desired green color is achieved. Cover and refrigerate 30 minutes (or longer). Working with one quarter of the dough at a time and keeping remainder refrigerated, roll heaping teaspoonful of dough into finger shape for each cookie. Add red decorator gel to finger tip then Press almond firmly onto 1 end for nail. Squeeze in center to create knuckle shape (you puff it out rather than squeeze it in). Using paring knife, make slashes in several places to form knuckle, then add strips of red decorator to look like scratches.

Place on lightly greased baking sheets; bake in 325F (160C) oven for 20-25 minutes or until pale golden. Let cool for 3 minutes. Lift up almond, squeeze red decorator gel onto nail bed and press almond back in place, so gel oozes out from underneath.

In the display pan ( I use a new kitty litter pan), add the uncooked rice (this helps the cookies to stick up). Then crumble up Oreo cookies to look like dirt. After the cookies have cooled, stick the fingers in the dirt. Be sure to wipe the bits of rice off before eating.

Bum Appetite!!

Ms. Urethra Franklin's

#1 Tasty Lemonaide!

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup hot water

Mix ingredients together well and refrigerate. When ready to have a tall glass of refreshment, fill a 12 oz glass with ice. Add 4 oz of the lemonade mixture and 4 oz of fresh water into glass.

Super Toilet Brush's

Boogers On A Stick

1 jar cheese whiz - 8 oz.
green food coloring
25 pretzel sticks
waxed paper
1 long handled spoon
platter

Melt the cheese whiz in the microwave or on top of the stove, according to directions on the jar. Allow the cheese to cool slightly in the jar. Using a long handled spoon, carefully stir about three drops of green food coloring into the warm cheese, using just enough to turn the cheese a delicate snot green. To form boogers: Dip and twist the tip of each pretzel stick into the cheese, lift out, wait twenty seconds, then dip again. When cheese lumps reach an appealingly boogerish size, set pretzels, booger down, onto a sheet of waxed paper. Allow finished boogers on a stick to cool at room temperature for ten minutes or until cheese is firm. Gently pull boogers off waxed paper and arrange on a serving platter. Serves 5 to 6 booger buddies.

Serve with salsa to make bloody boogers.

Mr. Poo's

Kitty Litter Cake

1 pk Spice cake mix
1 pk White cake mix
1 pk White sandwich cookies
1 sm Package vanilla pudding mix
12 sm Tootsie Rolls

Additional add on: Blue candies or cake decorating sprinkles

Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions. Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble. Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in blender. They tend to stick, so scrape often.
When cakes are cooled, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the cookie crumbs, blue candy sprinkles, and the chilled pudding. Gently combine. Pour into a clean kitty litter box.
Put unwrapped Tootsie Rolls in a microwave safe dish two at a time and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat until you have nine, and bury them in the mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Heat three more Tootsie Rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Serve with a new pooper scooper.

MR. POO'S

WORM & DIRT SURPRISE!

What you will need:

1/2 stick butter
1 cup confectionary sugar
8 ounces cream cheese
2 1/2 cups milk
2 (3 oz.) boxes instant chocolate pudding mix
8 oz. whipped cream
1 package chocolate sandwich cookies
1 brand new flower pot
1 bunch silk flowers
1 brand new trowel
gummy worms and/or gummy bugs

Note: Wash flower pot and trowel thoroughly. You may use a plastic container that fits into the flower pot. Or, use the whipped cream container lid in the bottom of the flower pot so the mixture won't leak out (I used a plastic pot that didn't have a drainage hole).

Cream together butter, confectionary sugar and cream cheese and set aside. Next, prepare pudding mix with milk, then fold in whipped cream. Combine the cheese mixture and the pudding cream. This makes the "mud".
Crush sandwich cookies in a blender, a food processor, or crush in a plastic bag until medium fine. This makes the "dirt".

Put a layer of crushed cookies in the bottom of your container, along with some gummi worms, then a layer of pudding mix, alternate, ending up with a layer of cookies on top. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Plant flowers and then place worms or bugs coming out of the cookies (dirt) and on the flowers. Serve with trowel. Serves 14 to 20.

Additions: I added semi-sweet chocolate shavings into the mud mixture and it made it a lot richer. Also, if you want your mud to be a little gravelly add nuts or dried cherries, cranberries, or anything you like in chocolate. Malted milk ball pieces make great perlite and vermiculite.

Bum Appetite

If you have any ideas and/or suggestions for Chef Poo's Recipe Corner, please e-mail us at: