shithappens

Agnosticism

What is this shit?

It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not.

How can we KNOW if shit happens?

You can't prove any of this shit!

Amish

Shit is good for the soil.

This modern shit is worthless.

Anglicanism

It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

Atheism

I don't believe this shit!

Sheeit.

It look and smells like shit, so I'll be damned if I'm going to taste it.

I haven't smelt, seen, touched or tasted it, but I know it's shit.

I don't believe this shit!

Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead.

No shit!

Aztec:

Cut out this shit!

Baha'i

It's all the same shit.

Why do you keep shitting on us?

Shit happens universally.

Baptist

You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.

We'll wash the shit right off you.

Southern Baptist

Shit will happen. Praise the lord!

Buddhism

Shit happens, but pay no mind.

If shit happens, it really isn't shit.

If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.

Shit will happen again to you next time.

Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.

Calvinism

Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Cargo Cult

A barge will come and take all the shit away.

Catholicism

Shit happens because you are bad.

You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

Charismatic Catholicism

Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Capitalism

Shit happens, and it'll cost you!

Christian Science

Shit is in your mind.

When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.

Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it.

Our shit will take care of itself.

Communism

Equal shit happens to all people.

It's everybody's shit.

Confucianism

Confucius say, "Shit happens".

Confucius says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."

Congregationalism

Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

Creationism

... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He rested.

Creation Science

Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.

Darwinism

Survival of the shittiest.

This shit was once food.

Deism

Shit just happens.

Dianetics

Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

"Why does shit happen?" (p. 157)

Discordianism

Some funny shit happened to me today.

Shit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.

Divorcism

She's full of shit!

He's fooling around with some worthless piece of shit.

Emac

Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

Employer

Shit happens, and rolls down hill.

Episcopalianism:

If shit happens, hold a procession.

It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Feminism

This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!

Methodist

It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Energizer Bunny

Shit happens and happens and happens and ...

EST

If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

I am at cause that shit will not happen.

You're responsible for all the shit that happens.

Existentialism

Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

What is shit anyway?

Fascism

Shit makes the trains run on time.

Forteanism

No shit??

Fundamentalism

There's no shit in the Bible.

If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

Shit happens, but don't publish it.

Greek Orthodox

Shit happens, usually in threes.

Hare Krishna

Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.

She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,

she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)

Please take this flower and buy our shit.

Hasidism

Shit never happens the same way twice.

Hedonism

There's nothing like a good shit happening.

Heisenbergism

Shit happened, we just don't know where.

Hinduism

This shit has happened before.

This shit isn't a religion, it's the way of life.

If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.

Shit will happen again to you next time.

Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.

Hopi

Corn fertilizer happens.

Islam

Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

Jehovah's Witnesses

No shit happens until Armageddon.

There is only a limited amount of good shit.

Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."

Here, we insist you take our shit.

Shit happens door to door.

Open the door and I'll show you what shit is.

Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.

Jesuitism

If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

Judaism

Why does shit always happen to US?

Kibology

What's shit, and where can I get some?

Lubavitcher Hassidism:

Blessed are they upon whom He sends His most holy Shit to happen.

Lutheranism

Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Have faith that shit will happen.

If shit happens, don't talk about it.

Methodist

It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Mithraism

Bull shit happens.

Moilanenism

Smells like shit of Finnish fish.

Moonies

Only happy shit really happens.

Mormons

This shit is going to happen again.

Hey, there's more shit over here!

If shit happens, shun it.

Let the shit multiply.

Excrement happens. (you can't say 'shit' in Utah)

Hey, there's more shit happening over here!

God sent us this shit.

Shit happens again & again & again ...

Mysticism

What weird shit!

Native Americanism

Shit is sacred when it happens.

New Age

For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

Visualize shit not happening.

That's not shit, it's feldspar.

A firm shit does not happen to me.

This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.

I create my own shit.

That's not shit, it's feldspar.

If shit happens, honor it and share it.

Sheeeeeeeeeeit!

Were all part of the same shit.

Nihilism:

Who needs this shit?

Nixonism

Shit didn't happen, and if it did I didn't know anything about it.

Quakers

Let us not fight over this shit.

Objectivism

Our shit is good for you.

Presbyterianism

This shit was bound to happen.

Orthodox Judaism

So shit happens, already!

Orthodox

St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Paganism

Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Protestantism

Let the shit happen to someone else.

If shit happens, praise the lord for it!

Psychoanalysis

Shit happens because of your toilet training.

Quaker

Let's not fight over this shit.

Rajhneesh

Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.

Rastafarianism

Let's smoke this shit.

Let's roll that shit up and smoke it.

Hey, this is good shit, mon.

Reaganism

Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

Reform Judaism

Got any Kaopectate?

Shit happens to whom it may concern.

Right-Wing Protestantism

Let this shit happen to someone else.

Rosicrucianism:

What is this AMORC shit?

Satanism

SNEPPAH TIHS.

We hope bad shit happens to all of you.

We will make your shit happen.

Scientology

Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

All this happens to be shit.

If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.

This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.

Secular Humanism

Shit evolves.

Seventh Day Adventist

No shit on Saturdays.

Shamanism

Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Shintoism

You inherit the shit of your ancestors.

Shit is everywhere.

Sikhism

Leave our shit alone.

Stoicism

This shit is good for me.

Sunni Islam

If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd better submit!

Shiite happens.

SubGenius

Shit has happened. For $20 "BoB" will sell you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT.

Sureshism

You are all pieces of shit.

Taoism

Shit happens.

If you can shit, it isn't shit.

Shit happens, so flow with it.

Televangelism

Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening.

Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...

Theosophy

You don't know half of the shit that happens.

Twelve-Step

I am powerless to cut the shit.

Shit happens one day at a time.

Unitarianism

Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.

What is this Shit?

We affirm the right for shit to happen.

It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.

Come let us reason together about this shit.

Wicca

If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

The Goddess makes shit happen.

An it harm none, let shit happen.

Witchcraft

Mix this shit together and it will happen!

Voodoo

Hey, that shit looks just like you!

Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.

This shit's gonna get you!

Yuppism

It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?

Zen

(What is the sound of shit happening?)

Zoroastrianism

Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

Shit happens half the time.

Christianity stole half its shit from us.

-This philosofecal shit was collected throughout the world wide web.

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