Typesofpoo

A poo sent from heaven, it doesn't touch the sides and therefore requires no wiping. Simply divine. - Donated by Isaac.

When you take a crap in a bathroom that has a huge mirror that shows exactly
what you look like while you take a dump. Very humbling, indeed. - Donated by Greg.

You are not even at the toilet because you are positive you will only fart, but...(oops!) a poopie.

This poopie refuses to drop even though you know you are done pooping. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

You felt it come out, there's poo on the toilet paper, but there's nothing in the bowl!

You felt it drop, you see it in the bowl, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

The kind of poop where you wipe your crease 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to shove some toilet paper up against your starfish so you don't get a brown stain when you pull your pants back up.

This happens when you're done, have pulled your underwear up to your knees and you realize you have to do it some more.

The kinda poop where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

A mystery of modern science. A dump that looks good enough to sink your teeth into...just add a pat of butter

The poop that gets you into the slimmer of the year lists...one dump and you're pounds lighter!

You've dropped a monster, and the only way to flush the it is to break it in the middle.

You drink enough beer to knock a horse down and the next day is followed by poop that crawls along the bottom of the bowl, leaving a trail when you flush.

The kind of shit where you want to poo, but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.

The kind where it hurts so much coming out, that you'd swear that it came out sideways.

The kind of poo that hits the water so fast and hard that the splash back hits the starfish.

The morning after the Mexican restaurant. The ass blows like there's no tomorrow and you're reaching for the burn-cream to rub all over the brown-eye.

You know you need to go but you're holding off...then you lift up your left leg to squeeze a sly fart out and the next thing you know you're sitting in fudge

Related to the follow through...you need to go but stop to sneeze...and the next thing you know you have whipped cream running down your leg

The one where you know you should not be at work as you're sick...the smell permeates the air, gets in the air duct and invades the entire building

The one were you actually shit the popcorn and peanuts, and it all smells like candy floss!

The kinda long vehicle that takes all day to get around the corner and looks like reality has slowed right down

That special time of the day you can just say "screw it" and disappear to the nearest toilet with suitable reading material, just sit back, all chilled...and count those plops...mm-mmm!!!

People who can walk to the bathroom, and in less than 30 seconds, can shit, wipe, and be gone!

You 'hnnnngh' and 'fruuuurgh' until your stomach feels like it's coming out sideways and when it finally makes it the turd it is so dried up it feels like broken glass cutting it's way out

The kind of poop where you eat HOT jalapenos all day then scream the whole time in the bathroom because it feels like someone has a flamethrower up your ass.

You feel like you have to poop but when you try the feeling goes away then as soon as your back doing what you where doing before it happens again

The kinda poop where you try for hours to squeeze it out and all that drops is one tiny little pebble

The kinda poop where you pop into the cube for a quickie and bam, bam: your lungs fall through your ass.

This is where you feel like you have to poop but try as you might, not even a rabbit pebbles will drop. You then get in the car to go somewhere and as soon as you get down the road you're touching cloth.

-Different types of poo compiled from lists found throughout the world wide web.